dear diary, i cant wait for sch to start. the sense of emptiness keeps on lurking within me. sigh.


read some guy's blog (linked frm mi fren's) just now and i haf a feeling of envy. it's like, even though he and some other frens haf alrdi left the same sch for 2 yrs and more, yet, they were still able to keep in touch, meeting up with one another evry now and then to share their problems that they were facing, and also to celebrate anyone's birthday or any other special occassions tgt. i realli envy the kind of strong friendship and the closeness that they share.


it seems that evryone ard me is busy with their own lives and that i hardly do haf the chance to spend time with them. even though i do haf the time, they dont. i noe i cant blame them. they do haf their own lives. it's just that i realli miss mi old frens and those goot old times we used to spend tgt.


in fact, evryone has drifted apart.. but can it be helped?


"best friends forever"? sigh. why are certain friendships so fragile while others are not?

smth realli freaky happened todae while i was on mi way to bugis! this weird bangala talked to me on the bus and even asked me for mi hp no.! freaky leh. he said he came frm bangladesh and he came to spore to look for a job. he even asked if i was married. scary lor.. i was like so freaked out, reassuring miself that perhaps evryone was that friendly back at their country!

went shopping for mi attire for work. which consists of black long pants (jeans not allowed!!) and white polo tee. and i successfully bot mi pants! a cheapo one at THIS FASHION. haha but actualli not tt cheapo afterall. cost 30 bucks without discount leh. tsk tsk. i tried on a purple top too. but foto taking wasnt realli a successful attempt! looked slightly odd so didnt get it.

following that, went to bugis village which was at a stone's throw away, for some quick shopping since it was alrdi quite late. on mi way there, i met junjie frm mi sec 4 class back at bp. he was wearing aj uniform so i think he was there to visit the national library. it's such a great feeling to randomly bump into old schmates. although it's been more than a year i'd left bp, i still miss evryone and evrything so much. sigh.


at bugis village, i realli had the urge to spend money! but i knew i had to control! so in the end, i bot 2 tees. elmo (white backgrd) , hamburger monster (black backgrd) and got another weird one for free! haha.. and also a pair of baby pink rosy ear studs. i seldom own baby pink stuff but this one is sweet. haha. saw some realli nice bags as well but i noe tt i will definitely get scolded if i buy bags agn! :( got a face sponge at the beauty wateva shop nearby too. tt place is indeed a nice place to do shopping when it isnt packed.


oh oh! and i haf to mention this. tt the sliced fish been hoon frm bugis village level 1, is so super delicious! a must-try! :D realli a mouth watering dish. and the best thing is that, the uncle had the skin removed! woots! :) YUM.


yea and tt's all for todae. some piccas here.

the farewell present tt i mentioned a few entries earlier. drawn by a darling. :)

the ferrero rocher flower that the k1 children made with mdm lin for me, on valentine's dae.

AHH feel so so so happie todae! :D and the reason being, i made a visit to the childcare centre which i'd worked at previously, in the evening! :D and i saw mi baby darlings! like.. FINALLY! :D


bot chocos for them! YUM! :D mi fav food!

m&m's! for mi k1 darlings :)

delfi almond coated with milk chocolate! for the teachers :)

and last but not least, cadbury milk choco! for the rest :D

initially, i was so worried that i wldnt be v welcomed since i was no longer part of the staff! however, i was wrong! so very wrong! cos it turned out to be the opp! i was so shocked leh! when i stepped into the school, i got greeted immediately by excited screams frm mi k1 darlings!! haha they were smiling so happily and i got hugged by so many of them luh! that i didnt haf the time to greet the teachers first! haha it was such a warm welcome! felt so relieved sia. and fortunately, the teachers were glad to see me.. (i suppose! or maybe they appeared so, cos i had chocs in mi hands! haha XD)


the children's voices and smiles are the things that i missed the most! and the way they told me they missed me and that they want to see me evrydae, was like.. AWW.. so sweeeet! aft such a long period of time i havent been with them, realised that i actualli do miss their complaints and their supposedly exciting stories too! haha I MISS THEM SO MUCH LUH. like.. everthing abt them.. XD


one of the teachers, mdm lin, told me that xuyang (mi fav boy) was mi no. 1 fan! cos aft i'd left, he was pestering her with the same ques everydae, that she is gonna burst of frustration. haha that ques is, "when is ms ng coming back?" aww.. so sweet rite? i miss him the most luh! he was the one who sang the "ms ng ms ng i love u" song on mi last dae of work. X) and this girl, ignatia (the prob kid frm mi cls), was like beaming with joy when she saw me.. wah i was so touched can? haha and then ah, this n2 boy called zhanghui, was still trying to invite me to his hs! he has been doing tt since like.. before chi new yr? few of the children wld actualli want others to visit their hs.. tt's why i say he is such a sweet little kid.


alycia gave me a gootbye kiss and nigel and xuyang gave me a tight hug each when they were abt to go home. so touching luh.. the children were like pestering me to go visit them evrydae. i felt so loved! :D and then some parents were shocked to see me! cos they didnt expect to see me there since i've alrdi resigned. the mom of this boy called sherman, even asked me why i didnt tell her tt i was leaving. haha im not even tt close to her!! she also told me tt her son thot i didnt love him anm, tt's y i left. haha kids. damn cute luh. he was the boy who said he wanted me to be his girlfren n wanted to marry me! hahaha..


haha and something farnie is that, they suddenly appeared to be so tiny (which i dont noe the reason y!) aft such a long time i havent seen them! haf they shrunk?! haha. cant possibly be! wish i cld see them evrydae.. the teachers told me to come back often too! actualli i am able to, but the thing is that, wont it feel weird to keep visiting so often, aft i haf alrdi resigned? it's like.. SO EXTRA!


haha but anyway, todae haf been great luh.. seeing all those familiar faces made me feel so cosy. esp when i was like welcomed and embraced with such warmth and happie faces. it realli feels goot to be back at such a comfortable place. felt soooo much love todae. :D it's a pity i forgot to bring cam! :(


oh btw, gonna work at ngee ann city watsons this wkend. product: clearasil cleansing foam! haha wish me goot luck!

MAD MAD MAD. she's totalli mad. wondering who tt is rite? her name is NWL's-MOM. totalli bananas man. she's been like scolding me for the entire dae? seems like she has plenty of saliva rite? hahas. so actualli, the thing is, I HATE BEING MISTAKEN. that is why i tend to explain in a perfectly polite manner and she thinks i am making an attempt to be rebellious. pretty ridiculous rite?


yadada. she thinks she's alwaes the right one, and tt others do not deserve respect and the right to explain themselves when they feel tt they've been mistaken. venting her anger on me when she isnt in a good mood. this simply makes me wonder how wld she feel if she were to be in mi shoes..


sigh. complaining how messy i am, increasing her workload esp when she isnt in a v good health condition. and stuff like being stubborn and increasing her blood pressure whenever she speaks to me.


lets take for eg this morning, i was merely trying to help out in the household chores by washing the tupperware and using the piece of cloth which is usually used for drying dishes, to dry the container. in split seconds, her voice came. "DO U HAVE BRAINS FOR GOODNESS SAKE? ACTUALLI USING A PIECE OF CLEAN CLOTH TO CLEAN THE DIRT? "


tt was insulting can? hello? i was merely trying to help dry the container! so when i tried to explain, she replied, "ARE U TRYING TO DEFEND URSELF WHEN U ARE IN THE WRONG?! JUST ADMIT IT TT U ARE WRONG! WHY DO U HAF TO BE SO STUBBORN? PLS LEARN TO ACCEPT WAD OTHERS SAY ALRITE? WAH SO GOOD IN FIGHTING BACK AT HOME LUH. AND WHEN U'RE OUTSIDE, U TURN INTO A TORTOISE, ALLOWING URSELF TO BE MANIPULATED. GET BULLIED OUTSIDE AND THEN BULLY UR MOTHER AT HOME."


excuse me. do ur eyes tag along when im out? do u even see how i behave outside? dont think im still the little girl i was when i was back in pri school can? hello. ur daughter has to grow up. im alrdi like.. close to 18 yrs old? please. have some confidence and trust in ur daughter can? im pretty disappointed by the way she sees me luh. like im some freaking bastard tt is so detestable.


and the other thing is tt, she loves to comment on how freaking obedient and lovely her frens' children are and go on lamenting on why her children arent like the way they are. go let them be ur children then! so upsetting luh. imagine ur own mom saying such hurting stuff abt u and it is to u somemore. and also, she loves to say tt im imitating the style of mi sis. please. we are sisters! wad makes u so certain tt those are not inborn similar traits?


cant u just spend some time observing smth good abt ur children? and perhaps giving a compliment or two? is it tt difficult? it realli feels goot to be appreciated. praises DO stimulate good relationship and even better behaviour, trust me.


sigh. perhaps all i shd do is to learn to feel numb. sometimes, being numb is a good way to handle emotions too.


oh btw, i passed the promoter training programme ytd! WOOTS! :) and the instructor commented tt i am the future leader of the world! WOOTS. haha however, i shd practise more on mi presentation luh. (by eliminating all the 'umm's in mi speech!)


bot some cosmetics ytd, hoping tt i can learn how to apply makeup! :D oh n that farnie nail polish promoter aunty was madly painting mi nails with her samples at watsons, hoping tt i wld at least get a bottle or two frm her! haha but it costs like $4.95 per bottle luh! so ex and not-that-nice lor. haha and when i declined her offer, she didnt even thank me or tell me it's alrite or anithing leh! her face was like.. turned charcoal-black instantly luh. ugh. come to think of it, spore's service sector is realli beginning to deteriorate. sigh. is a "thankyou" so tough to say? or is moving like ard 20 out of 560 muscles in ur body, to smile, so difficult? i wonder.


ugh. haf an urge to munch on choco donuts rite now!! *guffaws!* HUNGREE HUNGREE!

hi diary! myself and i are here once agn! :D didnt do anithing tt gives me a sense of satisfaction these few daes. feels sooooooo BORED to be not working luh. it's like i've been used to the daily routine to work alrdi and it's so difficult to adapt to the activity-less and children-less daes! I MISS MI DARLINGS SO BADLY!!! :(


weeleng feels depressed cos she has left her baby darlings for 7 days alrdi.. :( wonder if the teachers will welcome me if i make a visit there someday, since im no longer part of the staff! :(


anyway, went shopping alone ytd and bot some stuff which cost me 70 plus. GASP!! trust me, u will eventualli find a hole as big as a fifty cent coin on mi card.. PLS MONEY! STOP FLOWING AWAY FRM MI POCKETS SO RAPIDLY! :/ haha n now mi feet are covered with blisters because of that darn pair of heels i wore ytd. boo.

ate a donut mama bot me just now!

before :) YUM!

after! :D mr big nose and thick lips.

well, didnt do much todae too. woke up realli earli in the morning and headed over to toa payoh hdb hub to attend this boring chinese ntuc promoter pass thing. sighs. cos of mi mama lah. i wldnt haf gone if not for the consistant naggings coming frm her. "trust me, it will definitely benefit u in the future!" and yadada stuff liddat. it was freaking boring i tell u. was so miraculous tt i didnt fall aslp in the classroom esp when the course lasted for like entirely 9 HOURS! scary rite? yea and the two aunties sitting beside me were like asking for translations all the time so as a result, i was so busy luh! turning mi head frm left to right. haha it was all abt attracting customers and lotsa other promoting knowlege, such as to develop a goot relationship with customers, knowing the approach, and blablabla.. haha realli reminds me of gsc lessons! haha so im practising so hard rite now, hoping tt i wont screw up the performance tmr!

vitasoy soya bean drink is low fat, cholestrol free, lactose free and contains no preservatives! *constantly putting on a smile=D* made frm natural soya beans and added with calcium, it is definitely a nutritious drink which strengthen ur bones! =D it's tastiness hasnt onli attracted young children, but also ppl frm many other age grps. and for convenience sake, we haf come up with small packagings as well, that allow consumers to bring one along when they are out. besides, as a UHT drink, it can be stored and used for serving guests at home readily. we are currently hafing a promotion at $2 per pack, usual price being $2.40. so why not purchase a pack todae? =D

WOW! :D

goot luck to myself!! :D

MS NG WEE LENG is currently in a state of euphoria! and the reason being, SHE'S GOTTEN INTO THE DIP IN PSYCHOLOGY N COMMUNITY SERVICES! wootwoots! :D *applause!*


.. but april is like still millions of years to go. :( boohoo. so shd i or shd i not find a new job to get rid of the boring daes ahead? haf been contemplating abt this for the past few daes. n i wont be abe to get to a decision so quickly i guess.


aniways, wenta catch CJ 7 with mi sis in town ytd. had to visit her office earlier on and then rush all the way to cine so as to catch the 3.25pm show! haha and in the rush, we did a silly thing. we actualli ran off after paying for the tickets, but without getting them.. HAHAHHA but heng! we didnt miss any part of it except for the commercials at the earlier part. it wasnt as exciting as i'd expected it to be, but at least tt little fuzzy ball-like creature was cute lah. i like it's soft toy version with the 2 crossed out eyes. n it's flat. haha wenta hk cafe aft tat. took some piccas.

the huge pot of tau hway which we gobbled down

ahh hot!

hello agn! it's been a million of years since i've blogged and i see that mi blog has grown algae!! hahaha.. anw im here agn, but somehow, mi brain feels like it's been oxidised into Fe2O3. HAI I MISS SCHOOLWORK! alrite tt was a bit too random. haha so now that i've alrdi resigned frm mi former job as a childcare teacher, i will haf tons of time to blog! *woohoo* :)


well, 14th feb was mi last dae of work, and as expected, i didnt bear to leave the children. i've been there for half a year aft all, and those cherubic little ones are just too lovely to let go of! i'll definitely miss them. sobs. it was realli a fruitful experience tt u cant obtain anywhere else! haha yea and on mi last dae of wrk, i received a beautiful card frm a 4 yr old boy called Getzel. on the card, it read, "Getzel loves Ms Ng", with a long-haired girl drawn in a heart. this is treasure i tell u. haha i was so touched can. other than tt, in the card itself, it was written, "goodbye, take care", with a lovely heart drawn with an arrow across. so sweet luh! :):):) the card was also filled with his cars sticker collection at the back of it. AWWW :)


heehee. and since it was valentine's dae as well, the children frm the k1 elmo class, as well as their form teacher, mdm lin, made me a ferrero rocher flower! :D melts man. the children were also like giving me hugs and kisses, telling me not to go. it realli feels goot to noe tt u're loved and apppreciated! tt's the reason y i like kids. although sometimes, not evrything tt comes out of their mouth is real, u can alwaes see a truth, and tt is their feelings. i can assure u tt aft interacting with children, you'll find tt their laughters are the most adorable thing in the world. on tt dae, they said things like, "why must u go?", "i dont want u to go", "u are the best", and also "ms ng i love u". mi fav boy even sang a song for me. it goes like this, "ms ng, ms ng i love u! i noe tt u love me too. u noe tt i love u too. so i sing for u.." XD at tt instant, i almost had the urge to abduct him home! haha.. i dont noe y bud i alwaes feel comforted once i hear their laughters. it seems to constitute the effect of consuming paracetamol when u're hafing fever. u'll definitely noe tt magical feeling once u've experienced it.


well anw, work is over, and sch is a mth and a half away. im gonna be so damn bored luh. posting result is next tues and im hafing a sense of apprehension!! AM I GONNA BE ACCEPTED INTO DIP IN PSYCHO?! this ques keeps bombarding in mi mind. AHHH!! tues, pls come quickly! and i cant wait to start sch!! i feel so detached frm the world without attending scoo. like evryone is hafing his or her own life and im like estranged from the society. although it's nt smth happening for long, it's still abnormal to be nt studying when evryone else is.


oh well, i dont haf a choice, do i? i guess i'll just find smth useful to do in the meantime, to keep myself occupied and to get rid of the sense of emptiness lurking within me. maybe take this chance to fatten miself as well so tt i wont look like a skeleton tt will scare evryone away on the first dae of sch.. hahaha..


oh n i've learnt a new word todae!
ennui
· n. listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from boredom


heehee here are some random fotos