Can a miracle like this happen to me again? Though I no longer hold any feelings of romance for him anymore, the way he managed to capture my heart twice was amazing. Looking at his name and profile pic appear on my fb's supposed list of friends who frequently view one's profile makes me :D

Feb 2011.

Nov 2010.

Aiyah should stop being so lovesick. Haha hopeless romantic. Tsk. My life shouldn't revolve all around love anyway. I need to get a life! Must ace in school work and get my scholarship.. Haha wait a min. That sounds more like a nerd rather than a life. Hahaha. Okay just kidding. Other than acing in school, I must socialize more and indulge in things I enjoy doing! And enjoy good fooooood in life :D There are so many beautiful things around that I have been missing! D:

HUANG WEILING! RMB! YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

老天爷的安排是有原因的。
错过，或许是为了遇见对的。

既然我们都不能往回，
那么，我们只好一直往前走。

Looking at E's pics with rurve rurve, Idk why but I feel a tinge of sourness. Sour grapes? Or jealousy? I reckon it's the former. But well, they look really compatible though. Be happy and blissful then :)

Anyway, JS and YH are planting those thoughts into my mind once again :( and even into him this time round. It is not as though he confessed any feelings for me, but ahh on my side still, there's an internal battle between my mind and my heart. One tells me that being happy is all it takes, another says that security and commitment are as equally important.. :( B, sometimes I really wished I was still attached, so that we can continue our special friendship like how it was before, without any guards put up.. :( and I wouldn't have to go through so much torture thinking about us.. What a selfish thought :(

以我们的交情，我想我们可以称得上比普通朋友还特别吧。
那时候的我们，那么的单纯，那么的快乐.. 
当时的简单，真让人不堪回首..
对人好，不就应该是这样，什么理由都不需要，不是吗？

但现在的我，好想对你好，却又好害怕对你心动..
明知道彼此对爱情的方向并不相同，
万一对你付出了真感情，那该怎么办呢？

回到过去 - 张震岳 & 林芯仪

时间它像是河流 慢慢的轻轻推送
有时候像是漩涡 很难静止而不动
开心的 伤心的
一辈子 能改变什麼 能相信什麼

游走在梦的尽头 也常常不时回首
人与人擦身交错 谁停留谁又远走
我曾经 犯的错
我曾经 留下的遗憾 就让它去吧

如果想要回到那过去
但是你我之间存在遥远的距离
试图去弥补破碎的缝隙
我学著不放弃
愿你牢记我曾经爱过你
因为有你我才学会相信爱情
关于过去的事就藏心底
未来依旧有你的回忆

游走在梦的尽头 也常常不时回首
人与人擦身交错 谁停留谁又远走
我曾经 犯的错
我曾经 留下的遗憾 就让它去吧

如果想要回到那过去
但是你我之间存在遥远的距离
试图去弥补破碎的缝隙
我学著不放弃
愿你牢记我曾经爱过你
因为有你我才学会相信爱情
关于过去的事就藏心底
未来依旧有你的回忆

试图去弥补破碎的缝隙
我学著不放弃
愿你牢记我曾经爱过你
因为有你我才学会相信爱情
关于过去的事就藏心底
未来依旧有你的回忆
未来依旧有你的回忆

What a beautiful sight at Ngee Ann!

 

So wanna read this book.

 

And this, has been lying around on my study table for almost a year.. Sigh. What a naughty girl I've been. Must read it after exams!

 

Super love this picture!

So many series and dramas to watch too!

1. Gossip girl
2. Glee
3. Vampire diaries
4. The walking dead
5. Family guy
6. Big bang theory
7. How I met your mother
8. Modern family
9. Fringe
10. Dexter
11. The mentalist
12. Criminal mind
13. Bones
14. 原来是美男啊

Things I wanna do before I die:

1. Scuba dive
2. Sky dive
3. Visit Maldives
4. Visit Australia and carry a Kuala bear
5. Learn how to play the guitar and piano
6. Learn how to dance
7. Lie on snow and make a snow angel like this

  

 And many more which I haven't thought of.. haha.

I WANT A HUG!

omg this.. :(

I don't wanna fall for him. But by looking at the amount of telepathy we have and how important our presence mean to the lives of each other, it certainly is quite easy to fall into it. But I know I can't trust him to hold my hand and walk the next half of my life with me when he is so insecure himself.. As much as I want to shower him with endless love and help him rebuild his sense of security, I know I shouldn't enter anything deeper than how we are right now. 

I finally understood why he said he's afraid to lose me due to a breakup, and so has made up his mind to never fall for me. And that's because, if we'd stepped into commitment, all these relationship insecurity will ultimately threaten what is so precious to us right now, isn't it? I used to think that, if you never try, you never know. But now, all I can say is, well, true enough. If he'd believed in himself and me, we might've indeed turned out beautiful, nobody knows. But since the fact is that he doesn't, it would definitely turn out nasty, isn't it?  

I guess it's time I really bro/friendzone him for good. Because he said that he has decided to never fall for me, and I don't think I can or should change that. I do love his company. His super sweet acts of care and concern are something I hold so dear too, and this part of him makes me melt and feel like a pampered little girl at times. I wanna love him, but I don't wanna wear out from taking care of his emotional insecurity all the time. How different is that from a mom, right? =___= what I need is a companion to brave through thick and thins together in life, a man stronger than me, whom I can rely on for security and protection, not just a boyfriend who cares for me. After all, love should be enjoyable, not tiresome. As much as I wanna love someone, he should be one whom I can rely on for emotional needs at times too right? B. If I fall, is he gonna fall with me?

Nevertheless, he is someone so dear to me I wanna see him happy so much. Hope he meets the girl meant for him one day, one who can bring smiles to his everyday life, and whom he will be able to trust and love her as much.

A reporter asked the old couple: How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?
The woman replied: We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it, not throw it away…

 

And this is what I hope for, in the next 60 years of my life.. :)

 

Saw this post on fb..

其實，老婆是什麼？
從前的路人，
以前的朋友，
現在的伴侶，
生活的支柱，
感情的知音，
一輩子的總結。

:) this is how sweet it would be, to walk the rest of your life with your beloved special one..

Damnit. I shouldn't be thinking of him when I see those happy pictures. But images of us laughing away when we were at his area simply run like a movie playback in my mind.. Damn u, B.

Too tired to continue with my biopsy lectures, but too bored to go to bed.. shall post some pretty pictures :)

Need some happy pills :( feeling strangely moody out of a sudden.. A sudden gush of emptiness and loneliness..

Smile! Yay! Dying hair this sun!

JS and YH! Stop planting that thought of me and him should be together into my mind! T_T I cannot fall for him! He already said that he will never like me because he doesn't wanna lose me as a friend for a breakup. So I shouldn't invest my feelings into someone whom I know I wouldn't have a future with.. I shouldn't invest my feelings into u, B.

The F1 pit, the Flyer, Gardens by the Bay.. Brings back memories :) 

"Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong

Where are the plans we made for two?"

 

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

我们都不应该执著于不会带给我们快乐的东西。
洒脱点！
懂得拿得起，放得下，才能找到属于自己真正的快乐。
：）

BIOPSY! BE DISCIPLINED!

Anyway, dear diary, me and him seem to have resumed to how we were like :) and I finally talked to him about how we should be happy in life, and not be afraid to love and lose. I hope he becomes a happier and more optimistic person.

But damnit. When he was holding my shoulders yesterday to somehow protect me from the fire or from falling off from the stone wall, I felt it again. The stupid soft spot of mine that makes me melt for people who care. Damnit. The caring part which was gone for a while, has returned. Ahh. But it seems like he's not the one for me :( so I cannot let myself fall for him. I should encourage him to go for the girl. Am I not right, B?

Okay, concentrate on my studies for now! The right one for me will come when the time is right :)