Dear diary, I just read my whatsapp history with E. And it brought back so much hurt albeit the sweet memories. At the same time, I'm reminded of how B was my pillar of support then. I can't imagine how I would have been able to pull through that period without B by my side. B, is such a special person to me. It's been close to 2 years, and he's never failed to be by my side. After all my stormy experiences, he's still around. Although we're no longer at the top of our whatsapp lists, your name is no longer brought up to my sis every other day or two, we're no longer the ones each other would rush to meet after the end of our lessons, amk is no longer the place I would frequent, I can still sense my place in your heart. I know I'm still special and important you. We still phone once every week or two, and this non frequent act just makes each phone call even more precious and enjoyable to me. Change is indeed the only constant in the world. You're still special to me like how I am to you I believe, but the feeling just isnt the same as before. Used to be able to talk to you about anything under the sun, and do anything and everything with you without fear and without worry. Idk what's my intention of writing this. I really miss us. I miss that pure friendship. It was happiness. All happiness. But how can I expect things to be like before when we're now both single and he's a guy and I'm a girl and we just hit it off so well with each other. He's still the one who makes me laugh and smile the brightest. He was the one almost 2 years ago, and he still is 2 years later. But it's exactly this that is pulling us apart. Not daring to move a step ahead, we're stagnant, or rather, we're moving backwards. We're sliding back every now and then, forcefully trying to hold on to something by our sides, something which can reduce the speed of backsliding. Actually, I would be an idiot if I don't grab hold onto this beautiful opportunity that's been given to me so long ago right? Indeed, I was such an idiot to give myself to E, going through all the hurt, tears, and heartache, and yet allowing B to be just that someone, someone who was always standing that one step away. B and I make such a better pair, no? And there are risks involved in everything that we want and so we have to fight for it isn't it? Yup, the risks involved here are too huge, but if I successfully do it, the outcome would be so beautiful, so worth everything.