happiness is priceless.

Musical: RentSong: Seasons Of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.

525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.

Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.

525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.

In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

It's time now to sing out,

tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love!

Remember the love! Remember the love!

Measure in love.

Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

*WEE!* haha. got accepted into 2 jobs.


1st, shoes promoter at c.k. tangs. 8h/day. mon to fri. monthly salary: $800.
2nd, childcare centre eng + maths tcher. 10 h/day. mon to fri. 7h on sat. monthly salary: $900.


diff btwn daycare n childcare:
daycare: p1 to p6. daily schedule focuses more on eng, chi, maths, sci and classroom stuff. required to be fierce. more on teaching.
childcare: n1 to k2. daily schedule includes other things like art and craft, music lessons and game sessions. required to be firm instd of fierce. more on learning through playing.


im yearning for ben & jerry's chocolate ice-cream with brownies. haha tt's like so random. XD bye for now!!

hi all. i've quit mi job. it just aint suitable for me. i went over ytd, it being mi first dae of work. and u noe what? the senior teacher of tt daycare centre was like, a monster?! i would definitely think this way if i were one of the kids. she was like, scolding, nagging, yelling at them and.. bawling them out? for reasons like lingering on the pathway between the classrooms.


she said this, "children have no limits, u have to be fierce, otherwise, they dont obey." but i cant. :( i cant bring miself to scold them. u noe what? ALL the teachers could do it. :( on the other hand, mi heart wld just melt at the look of those innocent faces. i tried to be firm instead of fierce, but the effect cldnt last. :( they listened, but in a few seconds, they make a din. perhaps im not trained, tt's why i dont know the actual way of handling them. the senior tcher told me tt i shd nv be frens with them. otherwise they will nv listen to me. tt's why i had to quit.


when i first arrived there, the senior teacher brot me to look ard the place and briefly illustrated the schedules for the day. i was so horrified alrite. and the reason is that, she could scold while she was talking to me!! ok. yea. so aft she finished, i was left alone in the classroom, without being assigned anything to do. and without an introduction to the staff there at all. the teachers there were like, totally unfriendly? i was so lost. they were so engrossed in chatting happily among themselves tt it seems like i didnt exist. so in the end, i approached a friendlier looking teacher and she told me their responsibilies. and it was then i got a little idea of what the heck they were doing.


yea. and there was this realli sweet little boy (whom i think is only a p2 kid) who came up to me and asked for mi name, aft which he told me he was called jun xuan. he had this lovely smile and unique, hoarse voice. i wld realli love to bring him back home! but.. obviously i cldnt. haha. and this little cutie pie, an indian p1 kid i suppose, was running up towards one of the teachers, with an exercise book in his hands, containing chinese characters which he wrote! he smiled shyly at me and ran away! how i wld love to embrace him in mi arms if i was allowed to do so! i saw a handsome little kid called junliang too. haha. and mani other handsome n pretty little angels.


during mi p3 sci lesson, there was this adorable boy called bi zhuan, (who is a brat, according to the teachers there, but i beg to differ. he is lovely!!) asked me why the ans to the ques "what are the similarities between these 2 life cycles" is not "they are both living things". i knew it was unacceptable because the ques requires u describe with respect to the life cycles and not the living things which these life cycles belonged to. but he just cldnt accept what i told him. :( and it was chaos alrite. they were like yelling and screaming, "teacher, he put his smelly legs on mi chair!", "teacher, he said im fat", "teacher, he is very dirty, he picks his nose!", "teacher he threw mi eraser!", teacher this and teacher that. i couldnt continue mi lesson at all!! and their ex teacher came in and was at a shock to why i taught so slow. :(


:( they were so sweet. but i had to quit. currently looking for another job now. working as part-time promoter at cold storage at bugis junction this wkend. IM SELLING TOBLERONE! :D haha at least i haf experience in this. :D

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2089498211

:D i found a job! as a teacher at a daycare centre at jurong west. and the best thing is tt, im gonna work with kids! X) but the pay is low. 600 per mth. 1pm to 7pm on wkdaes and morning shift on alternate saturdays, which im uncertain of the duration. but yay! i can start work tmr! woohoo! hopefully the pay will be increased when they extend the working hours to full time. and tt the cpf thing will be omitted, so i wont need to buy medishield and all that. :) im so eager to start work! X)

hi guys! :D i haf officially withdrawn from pjc on the 20th of july 2007. WOOOOTS! i feel such a sense of relieve!! :) im gonna blog so much abt mi last day in sch.


i had a whale of a time in sch! it was the 1st time i felt so exhilarated and carefree in pj. the feeling was like.. im BREAKING FREE! and i brot mi cam to sch. u noe.. a camera is always so essential on ur last dae of sch. and i took tonnes of fotos with mi classmates n mani other pj-ians!! coincidentally, we had a fototaking session todae during CT. :) i swear i looked HORRENDOUS!! oh dear dear dear. but it was still a moment tt wld be deeply etched in mi mind-- the 1st time i felt the class spirit. :) im so glad.


and the lucky thing is that, i met mani frens whom i knew, so i could onli tell them tt i was withdrawing frm pj on tt dae. as expected, most of them were like.. astounded. mingwei was like "WHY?!" haha. nv seen him so shocked before. i still rmb he was the one who refused to cut his hair back at MI and mr ser had to escort him out of the sch. haha at least i managed to tell mani of them. aww they ALL wished me the best for mi future. THANKS!! it was the sweetest thing of the dae. :)


but i saw a tinge of sadness linger within mani of mi frens. :( i promise i will stay in touch with u guys okae? *HUGS* n i will be back on open house. :) just to see u guys!! this time round, i felt mi significance in other's lives. i was touched. and thanks nana for ur lovely letter. :) it was very sweet of u. i will nv forget how we endured through those tough bball trainings. and how we were mesmerised by z****o and l***y and.. and.. those times when we were so troubled over our academic issues. i will still be ard for u if u need a pair of listening ears alrite? :) dont feel sad anymore!! i will gif u mi utmost support in watever decisions u make alrite? i made joanne cry too. :( i felt bad but touched at the same time. it's like i do hold significance in someone else's life aft all. i was touched at how all mi frens told me they wld miss me as well. do take care, all mi dear frens!


haha and mi last meal in pj was prawn noodles! it was one of the few acceptable kinda food i ate at pj. haha i noe i noe. i haf fussy tastebuds. i actualli haf been patronising onli the chicken rice and the noodle stalls all the while. i will miss the hotdog n potato with chicken frm the cafe too! n i think i will nv be able to buy chin chow tt onli costs 30 cents ever in mi life agn! haha.


i will not be able to go to sch earli in the morning with mi dearest shiwan anymore. :( but we still must must must keep in touch okae! and u must miss me!X) i miss gg out with u. tt includes our spca trips! i can feel the urge boobling (uh watever word is tt. haha) in me! plus all the long chats on the fone. take care n all the best alrite! to huibin, xinyi, chuanfa and the rest, promise me we'll go kbox tgt okae? :)


to ah jiang, i'll alwaes rmb u as mi "the one"! haha i will make u do that "the one" game rongyi taught us agn! and i'll definitely miss all ur crap! must miss me okae? next time u see me on the streets, u MUST squeal excitedly and shout "ahwee" okae? take care!


haha i was like astonished too when the fren of frens of mine wished me the best and actualli knew who i was. he was like saying, "u are gg to poly rite?" when i was speaking to two of our common frens. and the thing is, he came to know abt it through another fren of mine whom i onli told the news to, on tt dae. i didnt noe they knew each other! haha the world is simply small. and i received mani mani mani msgs of blessings frm mi frens. thanks!! i feel so appreciated. :D


to all who were there for me during those tough times, i would realli like to say a big THANKS. i will definitely make mi decision a right one. and thanks to those who supported me in mi decision. :) i will prove those who disappoved of this decision, wrong. :) i cant wait to start sch next year! hopefully, the nxt batch of O graduates n i will be given the same priority in the selection of courses.


so in the mean time, i shall go look for a job, make miself useful and occupied. and gain a sense of fulfilment. :) ngweeleng! u haf to buck up on ur english!! newsweek + storybooks + newspaper!! READ!! and perhaps i can indulge in some little enjoyments during this period of time as well. haha. like working hard to turn FAIR? hahaha.. :) take care guys! :)


oh n happie burfdae jackson. :)

HEY GUYS! i just chatted on the fone with yujie who is in army right now. oh man. i felt so goot. =D it's been so long since i've talked to mi old frens frm bp. i miss them sooooo much! yup. i told him mani things, including mi situation and he advised me to follow mi decision to quit sch now and enroll into mi desired course next year, since im realli determined to get into a course that i want and i do haf back-up plans (that is to take up business related courses) too if lets say (touchwood) i cant get into that one. Furthermore, i feel that it's seriously a wrong decision to haf chosen science stream in jc and since i dislike the subjects that im studying right now, who knows what will be ahead of me in poly that i will gain, and that cannot be found in jc? he thinks that i can at least work now and earn money for mi sch fees and expenses next year. well, that's what i thot so too. it's pointless to stay on, feeling stressed evrydae, struggling with subjects that i haf weak foundation in, wasting each dae away without a motivation n aim to study hard, and continuing with jc life which i feel is totalli not suitable for me. why not be more decisive and do what i want? THANKS A LOT YUJIE. he realli cheered me up a lot. =)


thanks sijia for ur advice too. =) im realli glad to haf frens like you by mi side.

i realli hope to throw away mi past and start anew as a person who has a meaning in life. i guess yanru is right. if im realli determined to transfer into poly, i should follow mi decision, quit sch and work for the nxt few mths for mi sch fees and laptop nxt yr. i realli hate mi current subjects alrite. which is maths, phy, chem, gsc. plus gp n pw. they totalli sark. oh except for maths. i still love maths. dont u think it'll be useless even if i pass mi promos and then stay in a sch which i dread gg to, and cont to go through so much torment, still unable to concentrate on subjects which i hate and wont be using even if i get into uni? why not pursue mi interest through an alternative instead? i may get into uni as well! tt is if i work real hard which im determined to, as long as i get to study things i love. im gg for counselling with justina nxt week i guess.


oh n sorrie shiwan i jus saw what u tagged ytd! but i still haf second thots abt whether to cont mugging hard for promos or not. i'll tell u abt it aft the counselling session okie? =)

thanks evryone. realli do appreaciate ur encouragement. but it's the certain closeness in a friendship tt i miss. times when i can be who i am in front of ppl, instead of hafing to put on an act just for the sake of accommodating to the others because i haf no other choice. that's what im doing right now. i wanna move on with life too. i dont wanna get stuck in the past either. but i hate being somebody else who is entirely different from the person whom i used to be.


and human beings are simply so unpredictable. u wont noe what's on ppl's minds unless they tell u so. sometimes i realli wish i could see through their minds.


pj constitutes misery. LIFE'S SO SCREWED UP.

im suddenly so in love with HELLO PANDA! =D

CURRENT FOOD INDULGENCE:
spicy seaweed frm tao kae noi :D
snickers n mars bars, X)
marshmallows,
HELLO PANDA!
snow flakes frm nestle,
egg ball cakes frm wangwang,
grape flavoured gummies,
strawberry flavoured halls,
longan red dates tea,
VITASOY! =D
bananas:)

i miss talking to u nana! it's been aeon since i last saw her. =(

problematic.
u are all abt sadness, confusion, unhappiness.
even u are frustrated with urself.
shihui- "give urself one more chance."

happened to come across perlin's blog. n i saw what she wrote abt valencia's entry,


"its really nice to meet ppl you know while on you way to the next lecture, or to canteen during breaks or simply anywhere. it just makes you feel like you are actually rmb and a friend of theirs. and the school transforms into such a homely place suddenly. knowing that you are part of it and ppl do want you to be part of it." val 4 jul


but y dont i feel homely towards pj by a single bit? i feel so dead n dynamic-less. i haf totally no sense of belonging to it. neither do i feel attached to s16, unlike a certain bond i feel shared with 4p1 back at bp. nor do i look forward to going to sch ervydae, spending time with mi new frens, unlike those daes back at MI, with s13. i hear mani old frens telling me how closely they haf bonded with their new classmates, engaging in mani activities tgt. yet, i feel like im still stuck in the past, i dont seem to move on.


i saw carol todae, she was the 1st fren i made at MI during PAE. and when i saw her, she was at the canteen with her clique. those boisterous laughters and bright smiles on her face, are what's missing in me. and i kinda feel sad cos i felt so distant frm her. she alwaes seems to rush off in a hurry whenever i met her in pj. i miss tt carol who will used to share with shihui n i her little secrets, gossip with, about bimbos at MI, discuss little things, about our eyecandies, and mani other fun things the 3 of us did tgt.


im so envious of the riversidians in s16 for the closeness they share. they are so lucky to haf came into the same class. i feel tt i've became a pathetic loner. although i've made frens, they are just like any hi-bye fren to me. i need some comfortable somebodies to be with, when i can see the real me. frens whom i can be close with, and experience simple happiness for just the way we are.


"i feel so much like a walking zombie. emotionless inside."-perlin


no offence, but the feeling i get whenever im with s16 is simply.. different? i dont feel any bond as a class. we are like so scattered. although they really are nice ppl, i find i just cant clique well enough with them. i can no longer see the real me. i feel like i dont belong to aniwhere. i seem to get over each dae with emptiness in mi heart.


i feel so detached frm the world. in addition to mi academic disaster, i seem to be letting evrydae pass by meaninglessly. i feel tt im like wasting mi daes all away as well, without a motivation or reason to work hard.


i havent been smiling from the bottom of mi heart for so long. i miss hafing the ecstatic feeling of laughing out loudly with mi frens like there's no one else. i miss talking loudly without restriction. i miss being retarded with the clique. i miss talking rubbish n crap n nonsensical things to the clique n luffing at evry single thing. i miss counting the no. of luffing red tomatoes. i miss singing loudly evrydae with the girls to wherever we go. i miss the hugs they gave me whenever i needed them. i miss the way i used to boast abt mi eye candies n how the girls helped to notice them for me all the time. i miss hanging around at our fav playgrd the guys brot us to n chatting while resting on the monkey bar. i miss the sharing of juicy gossips with the girls. i miss the way we shared chocs n candies during boring lectures. i miss the silly things we do during lectures, like stealing the labels on the tables n creating the vibration to our butts by moving the adjustable table ard, and secretly passing chocs ard. i miss camwhoring. i miss tt certain closeness in a frenship. i miss being happie. I miss the feeling of hafing fun. i miss being mi old self.


yet, smth tells me tt i shd stop feeling nostalgic. face wads ahead of me now. the happiness may just come back anitime. stop dwelling over the past, life has to move on anyway.



where the flame of friendship ignites.

i miss schlife in BP badly. i feel so close to the entire cohort even though i dont realli directly know some of the ppl. i step into the sch gate evrydae with a feeling tt sch is realli a second home to me. i miss guiding daes. i miss overnight camps in creeply old bp. mud games, water games, hike, treasure hunts, loud cheers, bathing tgt in one cubicle, waking up at 6 oclock n hafing PT, screaming n shouting in unison, mi fav supper--hot milo n sugar coated biscuits, squeezing tgt in our patrols on one table, staring at gadgets we put lotsa efforts in making. i miss singing with and telling secrets to shiwan in our tents pitched in the field when we cldnt slp at night. i miss outdoor cooking. the smell of burnt dried leaves, feeding of food to one another, cleaning black mess tins, walking ard like a greedy pig, asking for food frm other patrols, the closeness n fun we shared. i miss campfires. i miss the enthusiasm evryone shows during evry campfire. i miss dancing under the moonlight during evry campfire, even though i look horrendous. i miss strolling along aimlessly in sch at night with mi frens, and the breeze blowing towards our faces as we chat. i miss mi cabin classroom. i miss evryone from 4p1. i miss getting involved.

still so lost.

hi all. i had a nightmare abt it. i dreamt tt one gal refused to talk to me. i think this is gonna haunt me for long. i wasnt as relieved as expected aft telling them the truth. i had a mixture of a sense of guilt and helplessness. hmm, perhaps it'll just take some time for me to overcome it.

oh n i saw a dead toad along a pavement todae. the way it died was simply so saddening. its mouth was opened. its eyes were so dead but opened too, like as if they were staring into the sky, yearning for more food over the next few years. the most horrifying thing is that it was flat. its colour looked mouldy-ish and one of its hind legs were broken cos it seemed twsited. poor little thing.

oh n smth's so freaky! the msg tt jamie sent me this morning kept on mixing up with 3 of mi other msgs for no reason!
jamie- "hey. You gt xtra sch tee shirt to lend me for pe? Can lend me cos mine in washing machine (somewhat liddat)

tt "can lend me..." part was mixed up with mi sis' msg, "...personally stand beside him.. He taller than me by a strand of hair.", nana's msg, "...I'll miss you during bb trng!" and junliang's msg, "...drink more water when u all reach home to prevent dehydration". the 1st time i saw, was when it was mixed up with junliang's msg. i was wondering why was jamie mentioning abt dehydration when she merely wanted to borrow a shirt frm me? haha..

"I'll Stand By You"- Pretenders

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

Oh I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you

h2s:
maths-B
chem-U
phy-S


what do u get? oh. BUS! wow. brilliant. hah.


h1s:
gp- not known yet
gsc-E



expected.
demoralised.
i know this shdnt be the way.
but agn mi focus starts to sway.
y is mi life so screwed up?
evrything's in complete mess.
term 3's gonna be hectic.
term 4, it will be.
how am i gonna survive?
will somebody pls help me?
i dislike phy n gp,
n gsc jus slightly.
i hate chemistry.
it was all a moment of folly.
i dont wanna cont,
but i haf zero choice.
i feel like quitting sch,
will someone tell me what to do?


be clear of what u want,
this keeps repeating in mi head.
ms k, mi sis.
evryone's talking abt it.
but science is not what i want!
so lost n confused.
how do i cont?

u spoke to him,
u told him the truth.
it's been 4 mths.
yet,
the passion doesnt exist.
u saw his pretendance,
in within lies disappointment.
tt feeling.
u felt guilt-stricken.
u felt sorry.
u felt helpless.
it was so cruel,
bud u had to go.
he didnt hate u,
he let u go.
he even bothered to ask,
abt ur plans if u go.
thanks,
for all those concern.
thanks,
for understanding.
thanks,
and i do mean it.

didnt attend sch todae cos had a bad tummyache in the morning. bud nt sure if it's tummy. it's at the bottom left side. below mi stomach.
oh shucks. missed 2 lectures todae. so mani things to catch up with. ): ): ):
n thx a lot guys. feel so touched to see all those concern. im feeling sooo much betta! (: (: (:
hmm. i plucked up ALLL mi courage, wrote a letter, hoping tt evrything will turn out fine. i dont wan the 2 yrs of frenship to be ruined. i hope he'll understand. praying so hard tt i wont back out.
hmm. be clear of what u want. then fight for it. of course in a calm n composed manner.
realised tt the thing i ever wanted academically? is to study PSYCHOLOGY.
mi interest. to be able to understand the wonders of human mind, to know why people react in certain ways and the proper ways of dealing with emotions n problems.
so wads the use of studying physics and chemistry? oh shucks. im becoming fickleminded agn.


mi future lies in mi hands.