I HATE MEL-mobile e-learning system. so frustrating. i dont even noe if i missed out anithing impt frm there. like last min announcements or things like that. and i still dont feel attached to mi class. feeling super unhappy and down rite now.


why am i alwaes in a bad mood aft meeting up with this fren of mine? it's not like he did anithing unpleasant to me. it's just that i alwaes tend to think a lot and get upset as a result. the previous time was inferiority, and now comes the problem of loneliness. sigh. so depressed. i feel so friendless. :( and im finally admitting it after ages. no doubt that the relationship of those who were once close to me, and i, haf alrdi distanced apart, and i feel so foolish to be still stuck in the happy past. like sec sch times as well as PAE times. i often haf flashbacks, and alwaes dont fail to get upset in the end. those were the days i was full of self-confidence and lived evrydae with a sense of contentment. i was a happy girl, alwaes luffing away and beaming with joy. like any other teenager, i had trustworthy and close frens by mi side to confide in, or complain to, abt unhappy momments, anytime i needed them. i didnt even undstd how in the world was loneliness like.


but things went the opp way i expected it to be ever since i entered pj. yea so i guess u can actualli estimate how long this feeling had been lingering within me. those close buddies of mine, and i, began to drift apart. i was often found alone aft sch. frens of mine were like busy with their own activities. and that was when i began to lose this sense of security. i started to envy the smiles on the faces of others when they laugh at internal jokes, visit the canteen stalls tgt and proceed on to their next classroom in a whole bunch. things even worsened aft the withdrawal. mi frens were all busy with their own lives and as a result, we lost touch. even those whom i cld chit chat with till 3am in the morning, crapping and luffing our time away, or even sharing little secrets on the fone.


i thot i had alrdi been used to it. however, i cld somehow still feel this sense of insecurity linger within me, now that sch in poly has strted. sigh. I WISH THIS NIGHTMARE WOULD END.


it was very hard for you to not miss me. and now it is very hard for me to not miss you. tell me, how do i stop you from intruding into my mind every now and then? i feel so miserable.