i am so upset. And idk why i am so upset.

i mean.. i know i feel sad that the spider that has been staying with us has been here for some days (maybe weeks?), but just with 1 flush in the toilet bowl by him, and the spider is gone, just like this. i feel so sad for the spider, but idk why i feel so sad that i just wanna cry. and i dont feel like talking. animals and insects die all the time. and i kill ants too. but idk why im just so sad for this spider. maybe because it has survived well in our house for some time? and then it's gone just in an instant?

i need to get this out here because if i told anyone about it, no one will understand. sorry spider.