I don't wanna fall for him. But by looking at the amount of telepathy we have and how important our presence mean to the lives of each other, it certainly is quite easy to fall into it. But I know I can't trust him to hold my hand and walk the next half of my life with me when he is so insecure himself.. As much as I want to shower him with endless love and help him rebuild his sense of security, I know I shouldn't enter anything deeper than how we are right now. 

I finally understood why he said he's afraid to lose me due to a breakup, and so has made up his mind to never fall for me. And that's because, if we'd stepped into commitment, all these relationship insecurity will ultimately threaten what is so precious to us right now, isn't it? I used to think that, if you never try, you never know. But now, all I can say is, well, true enough. If he'd believed in himself and me, we might've indeed turned out beautiful, nobody knows. But since the fact is that he doesn't, it would definitely turn out nasty, isn't it?  

I guess it's time I really bro/friendzone him for good. Because he said that he has decided to never fall for me, and I don't think I can or should change that. I do love his company. His super sweet acts of care and concern are something I hold so dear too, and this part of him makes me melt and feel like a pampered little girl at times. I wanna love him, but I don't wanna wear out from taking care of his emotional insecurity all the time. How different is that from a mom, right? =___= what I need is a companion to brave through thick and thins together in life, a man stronger than me, whom I can rely on for security and protection, not just a boyfriend who cares for me. After all, love should be enjoyable, not tiresome. As much as I wanna love someone, he should be one whom I can rely on for emotional needs at times too right? B. If I fall, is he gonna fall with me?

Nevertheless, he is someone so dear to me I wanna see him happy so much. Hope he meets the girl meant for him one day, one who can bring smiles to his everyday life, and whom he will be able to trust and love her as much.

A reporter asked the old couple: How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?
The woman replied: We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it, not throw it away…

 

And this is what I hope for, in the next 60 years of my life.. :)