Dear diary,

I feel like crying once again. Because I miss the past too much. 好想念以前.. I know we can't return to the past already. But the detachment process is just too tough. I know I have been through worse and overcome it, but the process is the most difficult, which is wad Im facing now. I don't know how I should feel. The way we talk, is just different. I try, and perhaps he did too. But it's just no longer the same. Maybe I would feel better if I'd stop talking to him totally. Because talking to him just reminds me once again of how we used to be. It may be due to the fact that he is overwhelmed or caught up with assignments, which explains the loss of contact. But, he did try, and it just felt different. I did try too. And it turned out to be likewise. I dont wanna be an annoying person who keeps bugging him when he's busy either. I wanna tell him that I miss him so badly. But he's busy, I don't wanna bother him with emotions. What should I do? Accept it as it is? Is there even anything that can be done to salvage everything? I know he's worth it, so I should keep trying. But I'm kinda tired.

Helpless.

But girl, u shouldn't give up so easily, right? U said u wanted to change. To become one who puts in more effort than before in relationships with those important to u. So, keep holding on alright? U will see the sun after the rain.

I keep questioning myself why he is so special. Why is he the first I am willing to put in so much effort into sustaining the friendship with? But I can't find the reason. Yes, he used to be special. But why is he still?