Nothing can describe how much I miss you right now. Here I am, standing at the canal at my place, and thinking back of my memories of you here. As I looked over to the bridge, I can remember one of our first few phonecalls there as you were going on telling me about a girl who always said "whatever" to you which you hated, and also about how stressed you were over reading psy journal articles and your psy101 project. I miss you. I miss how I managed to provide you with just the right comfort that you needed. I miss how your phonecalls were the reason why I looked forward to walking home at night along the canal. There was also once when we were on the phone as I bumped into yh who was jogging then. And not forgetting the most significant incident when I called you while I was on my way home from the reservoir bus stop at 2am after catching "cloud atlas" with you and joe. I was afraid to walk home alone at that timing and I asked if I could call you so that I had company. You said you were gonna go shower so I asked if you could just leave your phone on speaker so you can shower and I would still know that you were there with me. But you insisted that you would call and accompany me first and then go to shower after. That was also the first time I wore your cardigan (in the theatre) which smelt kinda nice. So much sweet memories with you. You're like one of the sweetest guy ever to me, in your own distinct ways. Yet, idk why I'm letting you go. I guess I can say that I'm too afraid to face any negative consequences like losing you if I ever have to (especially if we grow to become overly attached), so I'd rather not have you. You don't know how much I miss you now though. Just wanna hug you so tight and never let go. :( right now, I can't feel more sorry to have hurt you again and again even after promising that I'll treat you better. I'm so scared that I'd have already lost you from your disappointment towards me again and again till it's become apathy. Please don't give up on me. I must get this back. I will fix this and us. Please leave this bit of confidence and faith in me and don't let me go. I'll do my best. Because you're worth my best.